Over to you 2019!

After my last post I figured I might as well share some of my plans for 2019 with you.

My biggest goal during 2019 will be to maintain my mental health and to not work too much. I can get a bit “money blind”, even though I don’t earn loads, and take too many extra shifts just so that I can go out for dinner every week. I will instead try to budget and not waste so much money on spontaneous food shopping and restaurants.

Less extra work hours will also give me time to read and write more. I am supposed to have two days a week where I can spend hours doing just that. Instead I have prioritised shopping, laundry, youtube, and cleaning. I will slowly get out of this habit, and instead of watching youtube, as I eat my morning porridge, I will read and start my day with words.

Finally, I want to go to Barcelona. I miss Spain and Emil and I can’t believe that didn’t go and see him last year. It’s painful to think of. But I will be back soon, because I need sangria.

What are your goals for 2019?
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Time to reflect.

I have not been very good at remembering and reflecting recently. There’s never time. But this New Year, I am going to make some.

I have a remembering list that I did a couple of years back, and I thought it could help me look back at 2018 and what has happened.

Describe your year with three words: Graduation, publication, dedication.

Where did you travel: I have only been in Sweden and Latvia this year, which I think is a bit sad.

Best picture from 2018:
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I am very proud to have caught this moment. Happiness. And cake.

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And this is my favourite picture of me this year, taken by my insta-hubby Dennis. It was one of my many “please, let’s go outside and take pictures the light is perfect!” moments this year.

What did you look forward to: I looked forward to graduating, finish all our big projects and start my post graduate life.

Which day was the best day: I have had many low key perfect days. Days with amazing sunsets, days with just the right amount of beer, and days where Hugo (the boy I nanny for) has filled my heart with much love. But the most memorable one has to be graduation day when my family came to visit and I, after three years of hard work, became a proper writer.

Worst thing that happened 2018: My grandfather (morfar) got too ill to come and celebrate my graduation here in London.

Best song(s): Blossom by Molly Hammar, Tårarna i Halsen by Tjuvjakt, Wasteland by Jung, Women by Mumford and Sons.

Best movie: Coco, closely followed by Bohemian Rhapsody.

Best book: How to stop time by Matt Haig.

Plans for 2019: Write more, spend less money, see something new, experience something different.

Just a note, my computer is not doing very well at the moment. It doesn’t register my hard drive and I can’t upload pictures, so this list looks a bit boring.
First step of 2019, buy a computer I can’t afford. Yay.

 

December.

Yes. YES.

It is December And I AM HERE FOR IT!
It’s been a while since I was this excited about December and Christmas. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t wait for colder weather, wooly hats, cinnamon scented candles, and Christmas shopping.
And today it’s only three weeks until Dennis and I are going “home” to Sweden to celebrate the beloved holiday.

So the next couple of weeks will be a mix of sorting out gifts, plan festive outfits, have mulled wine at the pub, pray for colder weather, and slowly go through my advent calendars.
Tomorrow (today? I just remembered it’s past 00) I will go up early, drink tea, watch the Swedish Christmas calendar and, finally, put on my Christmas playlist on Spotify. YES.

Who else is excited for the most beautiful time of the year? edit2

Tylösand Hotel for Scan Magazine

I have, quite recently, started freelancing for Scan Magazine.
Scan Magazine is a magazine that covers Scandinavian products, events, and profiles, and then share it with the world.

My job is to interview in Swedish and then write an article in English. Hello dream!

My first article was for the September Spa Issue where I wrote about Tylösand Hotel, owned by Per Gessle (frontman of Roxette). All I can say is that I really want to visit, and I think you will want too after reading my article.
Check it out on page 26!

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Picture by Pamela Hanné

Monday is the first day of the week.

Am I stating the obvious?

Of course I am, but I will explain why…

Last week was a pretty shitty week. It was a-I have no money no one cares no one is listening my job suck and my other job suck too and the third one as well and I am tired all the time and will I get out of this rotten state or is this it because this cannot be it because if it is I quit-kind of week.

I felt horrible.

And I woke up today, after working almost two weeks straight, and thought that this week would be the same.
But, Monday proved me wrong. Today has been tough, but I breathed through it, which is something I could not do last week. I have planned my days, I have made a few people happy, I have taken on a challenge (which I’ll tell you about later), and Dennis danced around in my pink bath robe.

So I feel more at peace today. And I believe that Monday’s are the first day of the week; the start of a new breath and new mind set.

Let’s see how long it last shall we?

“You look great! Have you lost weight?”

It happened again, and this time I have to write it down.

I have been told, on numerous occasions, that I look great.
Lovely, I know. But, it is always followed by, “have you lost weight”, “you look slim”, or, “your face look thinner”. However, I know that I, on all of these occasions, haven’t lost any weight.
Can’t people just understand that I am hot and look great when they see me?

Hot or healthy, doesn’t have to be skinny or thin. People can look great just being themselves! We have to stop associate weight loss with good looks, and we need to start giving compliments without mentioning the other person’s weight. There is so much more to a person’s beauty than the amount of fat or muscles on their bodies, and these “compliments” are triggering.

I am glad that I am confident enough to not feel bad about it. I usually reply, “well I haven’t”, and they usually reply, “but I can tell”, and I say “well then it’s because of stress, which is not a healthy weight loss” (even though I know I haven’t lost any bloody weight). I try to call it out, to say that it’s because I feel well, or even that I have gained weight, because this needs to stop. The person that you “compliment” might have an eating disorder (which comes in EVERY shape and size), and your comment might start something they are trying to fight.
You can instead compliment someones skin, choice of dress, or confidence.

I am hot, and it’s not because of my weight.
But far from everyone are in this state of mind.

So stop commenting on people´s weight, unless they’ve explicitly asked for it. And, maybe even then, don’t?

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Graduation

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Here I am. A newly graduated university student who can’t quite believe how fast time has gone.

I have always, kind of, known that I would study journalism. But that I would do it in England, combine it with creative writing, and manage to achieve a 2.1 is something I never even dared to dream.

I graduated on Monday the 23rd of July, on the hottest day in the history of the UK, and it was a wonderful, slightly anticlimactic, experience. Anticlimactic because it feels like I finished two months ago.

But I got to spend the day with my favourite course mates, a few proud and supportive lectures, and my beloved family who were visiting from Sweden.

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(Only Mattias is missing.)

Afterwards, I took them, Dennis, my mother in law, Andri and her mother, to Notting Hill and Churchill Arms, an iconic pub covered in flowers to celebrate with Thai food. It was a great day.

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These three years has been both overwhelming, challenging, beautiful and educational. I often forget how tough the second half of my first year was; how ill I was and how I was not sure that I could continue studying. But I did, somehow, and I only realise this as I see my loved ones proud and emotional. Because I never really think about it myself.

Now I am ready for new and exciting opportunities. And I am glad that I am here, in London, searching for what is to come.

Where have I gone?

Wow. It’s been a while.
I’m afraid that I have gone incognito on cyber space.
I might be back though (might).

Here’s a little update.
I don’t work at Eric anymore. Which is sad, I really liked it there. But I was their first employee and in the end they couldn’t afford me just yet.

So I had almost a month of applying for a million jobs, trying to save money, trying to not panic, and in the end I started working at a pub in Richmond. Which was probably the best thing that could have happened.
I love working in a pub. I love beer, I love people, and I love football so it has been easy to keep up with the World Cup. The people I work with are great!

I have also applied for some nanny jobs and next month I will start working with a lovely family in Chelsea.

Hopefully this will give me more time to write. Both here in cyber space and on my personal projects!

Oh, and I have been reading loads! I crave Swedish crime novels in the summer.

Also, I miss Öland and Sweden a lot. Especially now. This will be my first summer ever that I don’t spend on my island. It feels a bit weird. But I will have to go there soon anyway, thanks to my dysfunctional vagina.
Ta.

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Books to read.

I’ve been sitting in front of this screen several times today saying Blog god damnit blog! But I have had a hard time getting started. I have a few topics to write about, but I feel like I need time to plan them properly and write them well. So for now, I’ll write about what I’m about to start reading!

Like I’ve mentioned before, I need to get better at reading. I keep buying books, but I haven’t had the time or the energy (to be honest I’ve only been watching rubbish Swedish reality shows) during my last months of studying. Now, I have to get started and, more importantly, I want to.

I am currently reading my beautiful lecturer Leone Ross’s short story collection Come Let Us Sing Anyway, which is awesome. It is interesting, provoking and sexy. Loving it.

Other books I have waiting for me:
How To Stop Time by Matt Haig – I bought this today after reading some good comments on it, and after reading a little I knew this is a book I can disappear into.

Girl On The Train by Paula Hawkins – Nope, I haven’t read it yet, and actually just go it today. I love reading books from London, so I’m excited about it.

The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood – I have it on my kindle but haven’t started reading it yet. My wonderful Saskia says it great so I’m looking forward to reading it.

Girl Up by Laura Bates – Laura wrote the oh so great Everyday Feminism which I read, related to and go infuriated by. It also made Dennis fume with anger and he could not believe the stuff women go through everyday. So I bet this one is equally good.

The Sky Is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson – A YA book that Grace Latter recommended. I want to read more YA books because I want to write one some day, so I’d say this is the only way to start; to read more of them.

Anna Karenina by Lev Tolstoy – I got it for Christmas, but in Swedish. It might be good to start reading Tolstoy in my native tongue though? And then I can work my way to English and finally Russian. One day.

I will also try to start writing reviews or reflections of what I am reading. I haven’t done that since I was like 14 so it will be a good exercise for my slow and tired brain.

And if you have any recommendations, please let me know in the comments. I read most genres.

 

5 Things About Me.

I was thinking that I should do a little “get to know me” post. 5 things about me? I’ll give it a go, let me know if you like it.

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  1. I have always wanted to become a sport journalist. My family loves sport and it is a big part of our lives. My grandfather was an athlete, my dad has played football since he was little, and my mum used to work at a football club. We are the kind of family that sits, watching high jump, and clap along with the audience on site. This, and my love of writing, has lead me into this dream of becoming a sport journalist. Ideally, I’d write about football, but I have started to  more and more sports as the years have passed.
  2. I read way too little. I love reading, and getting hooked in a book is the biggest treat. When that happens, I don’t let it out of my hand. Unfortunately, the times I find myself hooked are rare and I miss being addicted to a story. I think the reason I read less frequently is the stress of university and the ticking bomb that is social media. I find it so easy to disappear into my phone that I forget about what I actually should be doing. I need the amazing Grace Latter to teach me how to read and do it effectively. However, now when I have finished uni I will find more time to read, and my reading list is long and lovely.
  3. I used to be a social butterfly. I really love people. I do. I love meeting new people, learn about different cultures, listen to peoples stories, and making people laugh. My main mission in London used to be ‘make as many people as happy as possible’. But I kind of forgot to make myself happy on the way.
    I used to attend every event, meet up with everyone sort of close to me, and I tried to maintain every relationship I ever made. With this mission came anxiety and I felt like I had to deliver; be the happy and funny one, all the time. In the end, I fell apart, and I got very ill.
    Now, I try to focus on my own mental health, and I try to not feel like I have to please everyone. I hate it sometimes. I feel like I’m missing out and I have had so much fun being out there, but I have learnt that I can’t keep that up if I want to stay sane.
  4. I’m a vegetarian. I must say I’m a shitty one though. I still eat fish, and I find it hard to turn down a meal that contains meat when I’m invited for dinner. Although, most cooking I do at home is plant based and I have tricked Dennis into enjoying dinners that are fully vegetarian or vegan. This world need to eat less meat and I’m encouraging anyone who are trying to reduce their meat intake. I have some great cookbooks that I can recommend!
  5. I have never been outside of Europe. I can’t wait to explore the world outside the European boarders, I have so many places I want to visit. I want to go to Brazil, to see Fernanda, eat the food, enjoy the weather, try to speak portuguese, and hang out with the beautiful people. I want to go and see my little Emma who lives in New Zealand. I want to go and see Hobbiton, and explore the landscape. I want to go to Russia, visit the Red Square in Moscow and tour St Petersburg. I want to go to Japan, to experience the chaotic order and the beautiful culture. I want to do it all.