I feel hopeless and absolutely useless, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
So why this feeling on a perfectly fine Thursday morning? Well, I had a tiny conversation with someone who said “It’s not a matter of generations anymore, it is our generation”, and now I am angry.
During the past year or two the world has, finally but very much too late, started talking about our world and how we are killing it rapidly. We are finally seeing how our climate is changing and what we can do to help our world out just a little. But, fuck, it is so late.
I am a product of capitalism and the comfort that I have grown up in, I was never truly told how bad it was to leave lights on or how straws are bad bad bad. My family have always recycled, because is Sweden that is just what you do, it’s not even a good thing, YOU JUST DO IT. But there so much more things that could have been introduced to my life earlier which would have made me more aware of all the shit that is going on, and all the shit we are leaving to our children to deal with. I’m not saying that my parents didn’t do a good job, they did, but they are also a product of capitalism and obviously wanted to give us all we wanted.
The saddest part is that I still don’t do enough. I love consuming. I love to travel and I would hate for the flight prices to rise. But I am freakishly aware of how bad it is and how bad I am doing as a human being. I’d like to say that I try. I still recycle, (even though the way people recycle here in England is ridiculous, it barely exist), I don’t eat meat more than once a week and mix my meals up with vegan recipes, I do laundry once a week maximum, and I very rarely go anywhere by car. If train prices were lower I’d go by train everywhere.
But I am not even close to doing enough. And that makes me angry too. It makes me angry that no one has done anything or forced people into doing something earlier, because there were signs. But no, because comfort came before everything 50 years ago, when we started to figure out how to NOT do anything by ourselves.
People say that Greta Thunberg is brainwashed, but, actually, everyone else are brainwashed. We are brainwashed into comfort and the constant thoughts “but what can I do? I am only one little human? It is only one bloody straw”, and that we need it all. We need all the clothes, we need meat, and we need to fly.
Today I am angrier than most days, because today I was told “it is too late”, and I feel useless. Can everyone else join me in my anger?