Selfie worth.

My dear friend Aziza wrote the other day about her view on selfies and how her phone album is full with self loving, weird angled selfies. Because she doesn’t care anymore. She is happy with how she sees herself, how she can portrait herself, and she is extremely good at it. I am glad that I have reached that point myself, although I’m not quite as confident. But still, I have come a long way and don’t mind other people taking my picture.
But where did this selfie obsession start? Social media and the pressure to post pictures of ourselves have gone above crazy and I know it too well myself. If I post a really clever picture of a book I have read, or a magazine, or my coffee cup, I don’t even get half the amount of likes as I do when I post a selfie. Isn’t it weird? Still, I do like the numbers under the post and I do check my notifications more often after posting a selfie. I am in the middle of it, I really am.
In the latest issue of Womankind – The skill of happiness there is an article written by Antonia Case called ‘No self in the age of selfies’ where it says, “What was the first selfie? You scroll backwards in time, through 2016, 2015, 2012, 2010, and further still, until you come to a pause, a gap – almost like birth – and behold a photograph of a rose tree.”
The author talk about ego and how it is the ego that’s at the ready to be either wounded or gratified. It is fascinating.
Sometime over time how we looked on social media started triumphing our presence in real life. And this with selfies in focus.
So what about the people who doesn’t like their own self? Or, more likely, their own selfie? What happens with the people that avoid those pictures, the camera, that angle that they hate? Do their non-existing presence in social media define their self worth, and if it does, is it higher or lower than mine, a selfie obsessed social media user?
Which ego is most wounded and which ego is most gratified?

Aziza’s blog post

Womankind Magazine 

Both worth a read. I fell in love with Womankind Magazine and will continue to write comment pieces on it.

 

2014. Part 1.

2014 begun and I turned 22. It was my first birthday in London and we celebrated it in a friend’s house, my fellow au pairs and my fucked up floorball family.

My London life then continued as I knew it. I took care of my boys, learned how to cook food that was very knew to me (like Shepherd’s Bush Pie), I understood the beauty of west London and I drank more beer than ever. I loved it.

We celebrated Chinese New Year at Trafalgar Square before going down to South Bank for some touristy sightseeing. The South Bank and anything by the river felt so far away, and very east, for me. It is funny how that has develop since then.

004 copy
Trafalgar Square, a lot of people and a blue cock.

023 copy
Tourists ahead!

069 copy

071 copy
I love the skate park by the south bank, especially when stuff like this is happening.

blogg10

Spring came early in 2014. It was almost shorts and skirt weather in March, so we spend a lot of time in parks with Tesco lunch deals and strawberries. This season was one of the reasons I fell in love with London.

blogg11

I spent more and more time with these two silly faces. Me and Mikael first clicked because of our interest in football and stånd (too much of an inside joke and too Swedish too explain) but somewhere a long the way I noticed that me and Linn were alomst too similar in so many ways. My sister of anxiety, coffee, long talks, love for cameras, and over thinking. We became the threesome everyone wanted, with Mikael being the third wheel.

blogg15

blogg16

I went to see my first ever Premier League game at Craven Cottage in March. I took Gustav and I was a bit too excited. It was Fulham vs Newcastle… but my expectations were high. It wasn’t the greatest of games, but Fulham managed to win and the sun was shining, so it was overall a really great day.

blogg17

Me and two friends went to Royal Albert Hall to see Ed Sheeran, that was a truly magical experience. He had only released one album at the time and tried out his loop pedals for the first time live. I called Jenny during Give me love and she cried so I cried.

blogg20

I went on holiday with my au pair family for the first time in April. To the lovely Mallorca! We rented a car, had freshly squeezed orange juice, went out for dinners and made the most amazing grilled peppers. It was me, Hesther, John, Bobby and Hesthers father who came on the trip and it was so so lovely.

blogg22

blogg24

blogg25

We had the most amazing view. But it was also hell to get up that hill with a huge rental car. We even had to go out and give it a good push once, and it was lucky that Hesther’s mother was not there, she would have had a heart attack.

blogg27

blogg31

blogg32

blogg36

I loved loved loved this holiday! I still ate meat at the time as well…

blogg37

Just after our holiday I had my old classmate Maja here in London for the first time. I have known her since we started high school and I was so happy when she wanted to come. We went for Fika, went shopping, took touristy walks and went out drinking.

blogg38
Maja with Big Ben
blogg39
And Maja with Tower Bridge (and Mikael).

blogg41

This year I also properly got to know my Jenny. We started hanging out because she lived almost next door to Gustav, but the first time we met was at the Swedish pub when Sweden played football, and somehow we got really close. She supports Liverpool and I look like a leprechaun next to her, but we are great at drinking beer, fight off sexism and dance our shoes off in Camden. She has left London and me twice already and I will never be okay with her not living within an hour away…

blogg44

We continued to hang out in West Hamptead and at The Railway, so much that they started to know our preferred drink: Stella.

blogg56

Linn, Mikael and I felt some kind of responsibility to arrange something for our Au Pair oraganisation, so we had a Brännboll tournament in Hyde Park. That was a lot of fun and we also attracted many curious eyes during our hours running around hitting balls with big bats.

blogg46

My second trip of 2014 went to Malaga with my floorball team where I played my first ever tournament abroad. I was not suppose to play, I just came along as support, but there was a finish team that needed a couple of extras so me and my friend Evegenia joined them. We also managed to win the whole thing. Success.
Other than playing floorball we spent a lot of time drinking and eating yummy food. And a bit more of drinking.

blogg51My team mates have always been a charming lot.

blogg48

blogg49
My view though.

blogg50
Orange is our colour.

blogg57

blogg58More hangouts in the park, Queens park this time.

blogg59

We were quite good at celebrating each others birthdays in our little au pair group. When it was Erika’s turn to get older we lured her into believing that none of us could celebrate her day. Instead, we waited for her in a restaurant, jumped out, sang to her, bought her dinner and led her up to the Shard for one of the best nights I have ever had in London. We stayed up there for hours and saw the night slowly fall over this city that I had such a crush on.

blogg60

blogg62

I need to part 2014 into two posts, there is just too much to cover.
Next post might be about Brännboll though, it feels like people need to know this sport.

 

 

2013.

I applied to become an au pair in February 2013, and it started off bumpy. There was a long journey from emails, to interviews, to finally finding a family that wanted me, but when it was over I was so excited, I was on my way.

I moved to England, London, W10 on 12th of August 2013. I arrived to Victoria Station and was picked up by the father of the family who drove us to their house, my new home. The rest of the family was not at home, I would be seeing them the next day.
I didn’t sleep at all that first night, I was so nervous. I had left my family home, my safe island, my friends, my life, for something I didn’t know anything about. The excitement suddenly felt far away. The only thing I knew was that I liked the language, the pub life, and the football. And there I was, terrified.

The next day I took a train, I think from Paddington Station, up to Lincolnshire where I would meet the mother and the two boys that I was supposed to take care of. They were staying with Granny knit knit and Gumpy, grandparents that I would spend a lot of time with over the years.
After being picked up by the mother and master John King we arrived to this:
blogg1
Harrington.

I was in shock, I could not believe that people actually lived in this house. I got a room, my own bathroom and was encouraged to take long baths. This was a lifestyle I was completely unfamiliar with.

We spend a week or so in the country; I was getting to know the boys, had long chats with the grandparents, went swimming in the pool (pictures below) and wandered around the grounds. There were a lot of cows in Lincolnshire.
My first day there Hesther, the host mother, said “Don’t you think we should have tea by the pool house”. “Sure”, I said thinking that we would have a cup of tea before dinner. Can you imagine my, discrete, surprise when she came down with several trays of food? I was then enlightened with the fact that ‘tea’ in English also is food.
blogg2
Here we have Bobby.
blogg3
And here is John.

Then we went back to London. Everything was big, and slightly scary.

blogg4
I got myself an A to Z for London which I studied carefully. I went for walks, tiny ones, but step by step I started to explore London, my new home.

One day I met up with a big group of au pairs who all had come to London through the same organisation as me: Swedish Connection. We met up down by the Thames to go on a boat tour, and I knew I was in the right place straight away, wow there was a lot of blondes.
I had already started to navigate myself in the masses of au pairs and had found group that I thought seemed cool enough to hang out with, I was right.
blogg5

The boat took us down the river towards Greenwich where we would spend the main part of the day. Greenwich seemed so far away for a W10 girl.

blogg6
New friends! (Who now are old friends.) Agnes, Jenny Lilja, Mikael, Linn, Jenny, Clara and Sophie.

We arrived and I thought everything was so pretty. We walked around Cutty Sark, went through Greenwich University and enjoyed the late summer sun. I talked to Jenny about tennis and feminism, Gustav and I pretended that we had known each other for ever (which it felt like we had) and Linn let me borrow her camera.

blogg7
The view. This was my first ever London profile picture, it got over a hundred likes. I noticed I was more popular after I left Sweden.

After that day in Greenwich I started to hang out with a little group of au pairs who I did almost everything with. We organised taco nights, went to markets, and spend a lot a lot of time in the pub. We became a little family. A few of these wonderful people are still my best friends, and I am so happy that we moved to London the same year.
blogg8

We celebrated Linn’s birthday in September and spent the day in Primrose Hill where our birthday girl got chocolate cake and picnic served.
blogg11
blogg13
blogg14
Here they are! Agnes, Erika, Anna-Karin, Styffe, Gustav, Mikael, Linn och Jenny.

blogg15

I went and admired Emirates Stadium for the first time, this was before I became an Arsenal fan. I didn’t have a favourite team when I first moved here, I always said “I support football”, but as months passed I, and people around me, realised that I actually liked Arsenal more than any other team. Now I am a dedicated Gunner.

blogg18We had a period when we made pancakes all the time, I would say that I am a great pancake maker.

blogg17
There was also a lot of head scratching going on.

I lived in W, but most of my friends lived in NW, so we spent a lot of time in West Hampstead where we discovered some of our favourite places. That’s where we found our favourite pub, The Railway, and this place called Art for fun where we have spent many hours designing cups and other pretty pottery.

blogg20

blogg19

Winter slowly approached and I got to come with the boys and Hesther, the mother, to Winter Wonderland. I loved it. Me and the boys ran around the massive fun park and went on every ride. It felt like my childhood days at Liseberg.

blogg21My boys. They used to be so little.

Back in Sweden I played this sport called floorball, and it was basically my life. We trained twice a week, had games and I also did floorball high school. It was a huge thing, but when I moved to England, I did not think I would ever play it again. But it learned that London has 3 floorball teams and that there is a league, so I had to join. My team was, and is still, called London Sharks.
I called this team my fucked up multi cultural family, because all players were from all over the world; Australia, England, Switzerland, Canada, Czech Republic, Finland, Italy, Sweden and Latvia. Most of them were also a bit fucked up. I spent many weekends in Clapham where we trained on Saturdays, and more often than not this training led to the pub.
I have gotten to know so many people through this sport and I am truly grateful that I joined a floorball team here in London. Thank you Gustav for bringing me.

blogg22

Picture from our Christmas Tournament.

I went back to Sweden for Christmas and woopidoo it was 2014.

Four years of London.

I have now lived in London for four years and six months. You might say that I am stuck. I would agree. I came here because I could not stay at the little Swedish island where I lived, I needed something new, something big.
These four years have been dramatic, eye opening, exciting, lonely, and absolutely wonderful, and soon I will graduate university. How crazy is that?
I don’t know what will happen after the summer, but I have big plans, and I will probably stay in this amazing and heart-breaking capital.

I was thinking that I should do a recap of my years in this city; what it has given me, what it has lead me into, where I have ended up, and who I have met along the way.
I will do one part per year I have spent here, and I am quite excited about it. I get to go through all my albums and it will give me space to reflect on what has happened.

2014-01-1845

V-day.

So yesterday was Valentines day and for me and Dennis that is not that big of a deal. I went for a meeting in the morning, bought some cute cupcakes, came home to my NA-KD order that had arrived, and in the evening we went to the pub. We drank beer and watched Champions League; that is how we celebrate love.

Valentines day is all about money and it has almost turned into a competition: Who spends the most money on their partner? Sad huh? I can absolutely appreciate proper date nights, putting on my nicest underwear and that my partner makes an effort, but it does not have to be on February 14th. Also, making an effort for me can be as small as “do you want to go out for a coffee” or “I love the lipstick you are wearing”. For me it’s absolutely the small things that equals the big love.

The holiday of love is also a day that makes people without a partner think less of themselves, which I cannot understand. Honestly, you are not less of a person because you don’t have a partner. Do not let anyone (the society) trick you into believing that.

What do you think? Is Valentines day worth celebrating? 

linnsejphotography_HannaDennis_161
We are 100% silly. Picture taken by Linnsejphotography 

On another note, Sweden has earned 5 medals in 5 days in the Olympics and this morning I cried because one of our young talents took her first ever Olympic gold. Well done Hanna Öberg!

Magculture.

edit2

A couple of weeks ago me and my journalism class went to Magculture at 270 St John Street to check out their amazing business. Magculture was created by people loving magazines for people loving magazines, and we got to meet the founder Jeremy Leslie. Jeremy fist started Magculture as a blog in 2006, and moved into the shop in 2010 and has since then collected over 400 titles from across the world. He gave us a lecture on what works in the business right now and it was inspiring to listen to someone with so much experience.
We then had time to feel, smell (wow it smelled nice in there), and check out all the cool magazines and I’m surprised I didn’t spend too much money in there. I got myself Positive News, the pink mag on the table, and Season, a magazine about female football and fashion. They are now laying here, together with Stylists Suffagrettes issue celebrating 100 years of votes for women, making my workplace pretty. Check out Magculture here.

I love indie magazines so much, the design is calmer and more welcoming than the glossy magazines I grew up with. I also like the minimalism and lack of headlines, also that every advert look like an editorial piece designed for the magazine.

They say that print is dying, and I don’t want to believe that. But then I realise that I don’t go to WHSmith to go through the shelf to pick out my favourite magazines for the week. So I feel that I can’t really feel sad about it until I do something about it? So I’m doing something about it.
My favourite magazines to pick up at the moment are minimalistic ones, pretty food ones and, actually, new Vogue. New Vogue is very much new, much better than what it represented before and it has a whole new vibe. I read the first issue from front page to back page and loved it all.

What kind of magazines do you read? Will print die, or can we save it?

Colours.

Honestly, I almost exclusively dress in black. Maybe a bit of greys, greens and wine reds sneak their way into my closet, but black is my base. I love black. Love love love it. I usually try on other colours, but I know that the black piece will look better than the rest.
But I will today, since I am still unwell, spend my day in bed and order a bunch of clothes in other colours than black. I will try them on, and if I don’t like them I can send them back, yay. I really feel like I could use some brightness in my everyday life.

I am trying out NA-KD today and have no idea how the clothes will fit on someone that is not size XS, but the future will tell, and I will tell you.
Where do you do your online shopping? 

edit80 (kopia)

Picture taken by Johanna.

Winter Olympics 2018

Friday the 9th of February kicked off this years Olympic games and I am excited.

I have always loved the Olympics, both in Winter and Summer, we even have our own little Olympic fire at home that we light and keep lit during the games. My family are very into every sport there is and usually sit in the sofa helping the athletes towards their goal. Helping = pretending we have poles and push with them through the air.
Man that was hard to write in English, we have much better words for that pretend activity in Swedish…

Today was the first day of competition and the first sport to finish was the Women’s Cross Country Skiathlon. It is 15 kilometers of skiing, and the first winner of the 2018 Olympic games was SWEDISH! Charlotte Kalla (who I have actually met and I don’t think I have ever been more starstruck than that time) led most of the race and won with 7 seconds down to Marit Bjorgen. It was a great race and Kalla was so happy after crossing that finish line!
The Norwegian favourite is up for winning most medals ever (men and women) during her Olympic games which is crazy impressive, so winning against her must have felt good!

I am positive to this Olympic games even though it will start very early here in the UK, but Sweden do have chance to more medals and I will try to watch as much as possible.

Go sport and go the Olympic games and GO SWEDEN! (Sorry GB, I am yellow and blue.)

olympic-rings-on-white

TV has become better, but we enjoy the old stuff too.

I’m ill. I am coughing, I have snot running down my face and I am curled up in blankets with massive cups of tea. But it is okay, I knew it would come. Dennis had 38 degrees fever last week so I was prepared.

So we have been watching a whole lot of old TV. Actually, we have been watching The Mentalist. I do think it’s good, even though I figure out who the murderer is every other episode, but TV has become better right? This is just what we are watching as we wait for new episodes of Game of Thrones, Stranger Things and Orange is the New Black. This is the low key drama we watch while we wait for the action and finesse we expect from our new favorite TV shows.
We might need this down time, because it makes the new shows even better, and who can manage to only watch awesome stuff all the time? I can’t.

Everyday*

One thing that I love about blogging, and me trying to become some sort of a blogger, is that it motivates me to go out and see, do and experience stuff. I want to go to open mic nights, I want to go and see new exhibitions, I WANT TO TRY NEW CAFES, I want to live, and I want to document.
I just saw Swarzy Macalay post a Insta story of a live monologue and I wanted to be there. I thought, where can I find an event like that? And I am in London, so all these events and experiences are just around the corner, and I am so happy to be in the middle of it.

edit4